This is the first Mother's Day I've ever been able to wake up and look forward to in a really, really long time.
Sometimes, we have memories and experiences that impact our ability to enjoy holidays.
I hear that.
For a long time, holidays were hard for me, too.
Mother's Day has always been especially hard.
I had a miscarriage when I was 23 years old. I didn't even know I was pregnant, but it changed me after it happened.
In 2018, I was drugged and raped on Mother's Day on a date with a person I had been seeing for a few weeks.
There are a lot of reasons that "special days" may be tough for us. Maybe you lost a child, or many children. Maybe you were never able to be a mother. Maybe you are going through IVF right now, and it's really, really hard. Maybe you are a mother and you have some regrets. Perhaps you aren't close to your kids. Maybe you are missing your own mother. Or grieving the fact that you never had one, or that she was not kind to you. The list goes on.
If this is you, then just know it's okay. It's okay to not like Mother's Day. It's okay to hurt.
As one trauma survivor to another, I can suggest "reclaiming" this day as it has worked for me in the past.
Here's some tips on how to take care of yourself today:
Give yourself permission to stay in bed, take a nap and do nothing. If you want to lay in bed and catch up on some shows, documentaries or movies you've wanted to watch, this is the time.
Take a drive. Go up north and drive back within the same day. You have freedom, and you can go take space for yourself in nature, the city, or whatever makes you feel whole.
Focus on things that make you happy. Reading, gardening, calling friends, cooking ahead for the week.
Do something kind. Kindness can make us feel good about doing good for others. You could clean out your closet and donate old clothes. Donate items you don't need anymore. Go through your pantry and see if there's anything you can bring to your local food bank or shelter (i.e. Andre House). Call someone who you know is hurting lately and check in on them. Leave a gift card on a random windshield.
Treat yourself. Go book a spontaneous massage. Go grab an ice cream cone or your favorite food restaurant. Door dash something to the house. Go shopping and get yourself something you've wanted for awhile.
Plan a trip. Maybe this was more of a pre-COVID situation, but when I was bummed, I'd always start planning trips I'd want to go on..sometimes I'd end up with plane tickets and have the time of my life a few months down the road.
Reach for spirituality. No matter what you believe in, you can move towards that. That may be religion, that may be meditation with some crystals, or just finding yourself in peace in nature or your backyard.
Finally, remember that you are not alone.
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